Things Are Happening

Sorry for missing my podcast episode date. There are a lot of changes happening in my life that I’ll talk about in it. It’s kept me from being online very much.

I know this is short, but at least it’s something, right? 🙂

I hope everybody is doing well. 🙂

My Struggles with Anxiety, Part 138,392,873

I feel like a majority of my Tweets and Toots (on Mastodon) is about my sleep quality. Okay, let me narrow that down to horrible sleep quality. I am telling you people, my sleep has been horrendous since I applied for the job I applied for.

I haven’t heard anything. I’ve poked and prodded. Still, I’ve heard nothing.

But this is the thing: I don’t need that job. I am pretty content at the place I am at now, but I crave a change, but at the same time, I am happy if that change doesn’t happen.

What’s driving me crazy though is knowing whether I got the job or not. Sure, it’ll give me something else to think about because it will no doubt uproot my personal life and cause a few issues with my husband’s job and visa. So, I said I would cross that bridge when I got it. The new place is honestly a place where I would LOVE to work at in a city that I would love to live in again.

I don’t know. I want to get back to the life I had when I first moved to Australia. I miss the city. At a time when people want to move away, I want to move closer to (or better yet, in) a big city.

Having said this and the state of my mental health, I don’t think that the next podcast episode will arrive in the time frame I planned. No big deal because we have to look out after ourselves first, right?

I just really wish that I had a normal functioning mind where the what-ifs don’t control me. I wish I didn’t constantly question myself and my decisions. I wish that the decisions that don’t make a difference in my life, um… don’t bother me as much. This is my struggle with anxiety right now.

Things Are A Little Confusing Right Now But I Will Be Okay, I’m Sure

Title says it all. Things are a little crazy at the moment.

I recently applied for a new job that is across the state which presents many issues between my personal and professional lives. I am so stressed about making the right decision, but then again, I haven’t really gotten the new job yet.

I applied for a job and was contacted for an interview in 3 days. I wasn’t expecting a result that fast, but my partner was very unhappy that I applied for work that is about four hours away from here. I got to carry a certain amount of guilt with me to the place, through the interview, and back again. I am waiting on their decision. Since my interview, I’ve been very sick. My jaw hurts. I’ve been getting headaches. It’s no fun at all. It’s at a place where I’ve wanted to work permanently for a long time.

I still don’t know what to do, but at some point I’ll have to decide.

That’s what’s stressing me at the moment. I hope that I have good news later–but will that “good” news be good? It remains to be seen. I just need to learn my fate from this company.

See you around. 🙂