Things Are… Interesting?

Hello everyone. I hope you’re well. If you aren’t, I sincerely hope things get better. I’ve been a bit busy lately with work, study, and other things in my life. My thoughts have been full of a lot of negativity, so I thought I’d come here and give myself some therapy. Life’s difficult at the moment. My health isn’t as excellent as it could be, but I’ll explain that below.

The Not-So-Good

Notice how I didn’t say “bad”? That’s the start of making me sad, unfulfilled, and mopey. So, let’s work through my stressors and what I can do about them.

Health

I am stressed. I’ve distanced myself from social media, friends, and even my partner. I believe that this stress has also overlapped with some health problems. For example, I’ve been having trouble with my gut again. I’ve always had some kind of issue with them from when I was a child. Nausea, vomiting, going to the toilet too much, going to the bathroom not enough, and stomach aches to summarise most of my childhood, unfortunately. It has been reoccurring so much that I had to go to the emergency department yesterday. I spent seven hours there yesterday. Again, my blood pressure is high. My blood pressure has been creeping up, and I’ve noticed that it would get terrible at work. My pulse would get up to over 120, and I would get dizzy. So yeah, things have been challenging. It seems to creep up more when I study and work.

Okay, that was a lot, right? So what is my plan to tackle this? First, I need to change my diet. Since I’ve moved away from my husband, I’ve been eating a LOT of fast food. It’s just convenient. I’ve got over 25,000 Macca’s Reward Points in just a few months. That’s probably about $235 or more in junk food. Can I fix that? Of course, I can. I can cook, and even when I do, it’s simple. I’ve also got a gym membership that doesn’t get used much, so it’s about time to start using it once I get back home. (I have two more weeks here before returning home.)

You know what else? My father passed away early because of his cardiovascular health, so I need to be more careful.

Work

We’re dealing with severe staff shortages at work, so when I go in, I have to do the work of two people since there is no available staff. It makes going to work a bit of a bummer, and it is exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, though–I love what I do. However, I don’t love it enough to keep myself exhausted. I need the money, but I don’t need the extra stress. The amount of work I do for my primary job is just enough so that I don’t end up hating my job.

Did you know that I have a second job in the same position? The same problems occur there, but they are multiplied. I definitely can’t work more than I do there. Also, this job is a four-hour drive away. The good thing is that I work when I can and have my husband there to keep me happy and sane.

Study

I’m studying in the same field I work in, and I sometimes feel like when I study, I don’t have the necessary time off from work. I’ve got extra pressures when I study, which physically and mentally wear me out. It is terrific that they’re related, but I feel as if I don’t have much of an escape when I need to get away from things.

Social Isolation

This isn’t such a problem for someone like me. I thoroughly enjoy the time and space I have for myself. I tend to distance myself when I am worried, depressed, stressed, or anxious. People see it as rude, but it is one of my coping mechanisms. I sometimes find that not talking about it or thinking about it helps. That’s usually not a long-term solution because look at what I’m doing now!

I am not paranoid about going out and catching COVID-19 or the flu. Given a choice, though, I would rather not have to deal with either of these conditions. So I go out shopping and stuff when I really need to. I’ve discovered, however, that it makes me incredibly anxious being out in public the longer I go without going out. I need more practice!

The Good

Now, let’s list some of the good things that are going on in my life.

Husband and Extended Family

My husband is incredibly supportive. I think sometimes he doesn’t agree with what I do–like moving away from him, but overall, he’s supportive and lets me know that he cares for and loves me regardless of how I feel. When I feel bad about a decision, I just talk to him, and he’ll usually get me to rethink it so that it doesn’t seem like such a terrible decision. We’ve just celebrated 5 years of marriage, and 99.4% of the time, I am happy with that decision. The 0.6% missing is that he is sometimes a bit too loud and annoying. I don’t like his singing, but because I love him, I deal with it.

I’m not a good singer too, and I’m sure he cringes every time I try to sing.

When I married him, I got some family members here in Australia, which is nice. It feels really nice knowing that they’re here. When I get lonely or something, I know that I can call them up or visit them. That feels great.

Work

As I’ve said, I love my job, and I usually feel pretty good about what I do at the end of the day. It doesn’t feel like a way to make money but a way to make a difference in people’s lives. When I am away from work for some time, I feel lost and am eager to return. Let’s just say that I love my job enough to the point I don’t want to suffer from burnout.

Study

I am almost done–for good!

Health

I might have high blood pressure, but there is still time to do something about it! So let’s do it! (I probably need to have my cholesterol checked too.)

Immediate Family

I am looking forward to returning to the USA to see them next year. 🙂

Conclusion

Things may not be perfect, but I feel there are ways to transform “bad” things into good ones. I know my health isn’t excellent at the moment, but these recent problems have shown me that there are ways to make it better. Even small changes are better than doing absolutely nothing. As much as I love KFC, I probably shouldn’t be eating it all the time. I will try to plan things a little better in the future. I will make it a point to enjoy work and take a deep breath when situations overwhelm me.

I think it’s essential to find the good out of every situation. Even with the worst problems, some good can come out of it. Sometimes it just takes a little searching, but it is entirely possible! Never give up hope and realise there is always potential to improve things. If it means visiting your general practitioner or doctor to get some help, then go for it. I have done that and feel there is absolutely no shame in that because, at the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you.

Grammarly tells me that this post sounds sad. I don’t mean for it to sound sad, but more hopeful. There are people around you (including me in that group) who you can talk to and help you get through things, and I am happy to help you think about things more helpfully. All you need to do is to reach out and ask.

I hope everyone is doing well and hope to update this weblog a little more often in the future.

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