Building Up a Community

Once upon a time, when the internet was new and shiny for regular people, I started unknowingly building a community of friends and followers. It was a simple website where I posted my thoughts and feelings of what it was like to be in a long-term relationship. I think people had a front seat into my relationship–the good, the bad, and the annoyingly frustrating. For some reason, people liked my style of being brutally honest and upfront with the way that I felt. As time passed, and after people recognising me in public, I stepped back and started censoring a lot of stuff. I think the way I explained things back then would be a privacy advocate’s worst nightmare. As time passed, I have learned what a horribly scary place the internet can be. I guess more than 20 years can do that to you, right?

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on

Sometimes I think about how I miss that little community. People would find me and talk to me for friendship. I was able to meet so many people around the world this way. I was able to expand my view of the world and become curious of what other parts of the world had to offer. This community of people that I built from scratch was paramount for my exploration. I am so thankful for that.

A few times after this, I’ve attempted to rebuild a community of like-minded people through podcasting and for a while, I would say that was successful. Then I’d quit. Then I’d go back to it. Then I’d quit. The cycle never ends.

I want to try to reconnect with strangers in a nice way–to bring people together. I’ve been trying, but I’ve also been failing at that spectacularly. I know that I have and I haven’t really done anything to improve that. I’d like to though, but my progress has been slow.

Maybe one day I can rebuild that community through being myself. I will see how that goes. 🙂

(And geez, I was looking for screen shots of my old sites and trust me, you don’t want to see them. Lots of ugliness and missing images. That’s no fun! I’ve been at this since 1998, by the way… I’m old!)

Voice Gone

I’m pretty sick right now, and I think I’ve promised one of my not-so-regular podcast episodes today. My voice is absolute garbage at the moment, and I am coughing a lot. I don’t think this is going to happen today. I’m 100% sure of it.

I mentioned that I am not recording podcast episodes as often, and I guess this is proof. I’m not doing much of anything lately, am I? Not really. I did get the new car that I ordered a few months ago though, so I guess you’ll hear all about it at some point.

Maybe we will do that next Friday. Does that sound good to you?


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Photo by Pixabay on

Don’t you love when I say that I am quitting something only to say “nevermind” later? It’s happened again. (If you’re curious about what I’m talking about, see this blog post.)

I am not officially ending my personal podcast but I am going to take a break from it while I do a few things. I need to focus on my professional life and personal relationships. Podcasting doesn’t take much time away from these things, but it feels so much better when I am not obligated to continue. Keep in mind that I am a planner. I operate better when I plan, so you’ll see posts and upcoming episodes. Right this second, I am planning to take a bit of a break until the start of 2022.

I would die without a creative outlet of some sort. So for me to say I am completely stopping something is not easy. For me to fight the urge is even harder. I know I’m not great at it, but it still feels great to talk about things. It helps me mentally process things. Listeners or not, it’s worth the free therapy!

I will be around and I AM well.

If you have an account here, you may find little updates here and there in audio form. Of course, when I am back, I will recap everything.

Much love, people. I hope your Pride Month has been fun and exciting!

Bronzed Silence

Hi. Welcome to the weekend.

A couple of days ago I posted a little message on Twitter that wasn’t very encouraging and just wanted to say that I am doing fine. I was doing well then, and I am doing okay now. Things just got busy and I wanted to have some time to myself. I am just tired, I guess. Everybody’s entitled to that, right? Right.

I have also been sifting through some business stuff which has caused me a little stress–nothing overly concerning. I’ve been considering shutting up shop with my independent IT consulting stuff and I have been presented with an opportunity to end it gracefully, however I am not sure whether I will want to do it or not. I’m giving myself a few days to think about it. (My IT stuff is my side job.)

I’ve moved around my podcast episodes because I haven’t been in the mood. Though there have been a lot of good things happening, I am just not in the mood to chat about it. I’m not sure why.

Car is being delivered sooner than expected. Mid-July. I’m going to pick it up in a few weeks.

I also got my second (and last) COVID vaccination yesterday. That might be why I’m so cranky today. I am achy and having to take pain relievers since everything is sore and I am running a bit of a fever though I am freezing.

These are the things I was going to talk about, so hope that this suffices. I’ll be back later and hopefully in a better mood. Catch you later!

Locked Down

Hey everybody. I’ve got a lot going on over the week, but wanted to say that I hope you’re doing well! Victoria’s under lockdown for a week, so the hubby and I are getting to spend some good quality time together. That means he’s probably sitting in a chair in the living room, and I am in my study room.

I’ll be back after I finish up one of my projects. Take good care of yourself! 🙂

My Online Presence Sleeps

It’s been a busy few weeks for me and a lot has been going on. I can assure you that I’m not sleeping but my website, podcast, and weblog have been.

I’ve been working a lot more and haven’t felt like sharing much. You know something though?

That’s okay.

Sometimes when people get busy and overwhelmed, they need to take a step back and ask themselves whether the stress is worth it. Remember folks, stress can completely mess up good health. It’s just aren’t worth it. I’ve been getting migraines again which is no good.

I love sharing aspects of my life with you and playing around with technology. I do these things to keep my technology knowledge fresh. But at the same time I am not interested in overdoing it. I know when I need to relax a bit.

I am not disappearing. If I don’t update here, I’m possibly updating somewhere else like on Mastodon or Twitter. Sitting down recording myself talking isn’t a priority now nor is writing my complaints about small things.

I am just stepping back to ensure myself and others that I can prioritise my health. This may be a short little break or one that lasts a few months. I just don’t know. When I figure it out though, I’ll be here.

I appreciate you caring enough to read this. Seriously I do, and it’s people like you that make life good for me. That’s why I won’t disappear.

Having said that, I am going to be doing some behind the scenes code changes at my website to get rid of unnecessary code. Efficiency. That’s my aim.

Anyway, thanks. I’ll see you around.

I Hate Shopping for Cars

Car shopping sucks.

I don’t like shopping. Period. I absolutely hate it. What is something I hate even more? I hate car shopping. I hate car salesmen. I hate the pressure to buy immediately. I hate haggling. I hate test driving. I hate the upselling. I hate the whole experience. That is for new cars and used ones too.

I must be getting old or something, but I’m amazed that you can buy a car online. Of course, here in Australia you can buy cars with credit cards. I think you might be able to buy a house with one too, but I’m probably lying about that.

We’ve been a one-car household for a long time because we both work at the same place. Our work hours are a little weird though. He starts about 1.5-2 hours after me, so I usually take the car. It’s not so bad when it’s not freezing cold or boiling hot. (We work about a 15 minute walk away.) He’s increasingly been complaining about having to walk, so I adjusted my work hours so that we don’t intersect our work hours. He complains that I’m not around very much then. When I move them back to the usual times I used to work, he complains. It’s a no-win situation, so he’s been nagging me to buy another car.

I went online and pre-ordered a car. This is what I’m in the process of buying:

Red would work just fine… but just want it before October!

It’s a 2021 Toyota Corolla SX. I’ve ordered a dark gray colour. That’s great. I thought it would be a common colour. While chatting with the dealership yesterday, they didn’t bother telling me that it wouldn’t be ready until October 2021 until I talked to the finance guy. I think it was the premium paint job I wanted. I don’t like white cars. It is a dirt magnet and I hate washing cars. (There’s a lot I hate about cars. Have you noticed?) I told my husband about that and of course, it was argument fuel. They had the lower model available, but I don’t want that one.

I figure, if you’re going to pay for a new car, you should at least get something close enough to what you want. I wanted the model with the nice audio system, but had to purchase a lot of stuff that I didn’t really want or need. I am not that kind of person who cares about electrical seats and seat warmers. Sure it’s nice, but it’s absolutely not essential.

I have the contract here, signed and dated, but haven’t sent it back because I want to see if they can get me another colour (except white) sooner. We will see how that goes.

This car purchase on top of everything else has really added to my anxiety, so I’m not doing much on the web now. Kinda stressed. Perpetually tired. Overworked. I just need to win the lottery or something. This is also my first personal new car purchase in Australia. It’s so much easier than in the USA. Haha.

The Happenings

Hi everyone. I hope that you’re well and good. I’ve got a little bit of free time today, so I thought I would write a little bit here. Sure, I could explain how I’m busy all the time like I usually do, but who wants to hear that same garbage over and over again? Nobody, that’s who!

I thought I’d update you about a few things, so let’s drag out headings and/or bullet points for this one. I’ve been tempted to record a new podcast episode, but I am not 100% sure I want to do that because of laziness.

Website Updates

If you’ve visited Complicated Noise lately, you may have noticed that a few things have changed. I have done a few little changes on the home page. The things I update stand out a little better. The red titles are blog summaries, blue are podcast updates and other colours are the events I do (which right now, zero are planned).

I am working on the registration and account change system now (at a snail’s pace). Registration is open, but it’s using the old system right now. The new one will be rolling out first. It’s a nice little update to Chromeless (or Cr-). (Chromeless is my registration system. It has nothing to do with Chrome because I think you should use Brave, Vivaldi, or Firefox instead. It has been powering my website for a while, but it needs a bit more work. I know no one cares, but I would love for you to test it out when it’s done.

Remember, my website’s registration/account stuff is an experiment and the foundation for other projects I work on. I am not interested in tracking you or being someone who ‘promotes’ it. Use an ad blocker on this website to preserve your privacy (uBlock Origin comes to mind since it’s not evil like the other ones). I don’t mind. It won’t find anything except for third-party cookies set by Google because I use Google Fonts. What I am saying is basically that you’re helping me define and refine my projects, and I appreciate that. I don’t design it to extract your hard-earned cash.

I am also thinking about moving to a different type of hosting. I am staying with Dreamhost, though. They’ve been good to me since 1998. (Yes, I’ve been on their servers since then!)

Life in General

I am perpetually tired and have no energy. I am a shift worker, so I don’t do the usual 9-5, 5 days a week. It kind of saps my energy, but I am feeling fine mostly. Things are getting a bit stressful at work again, but I’ll manage. I’m sure I’ll come here and whine about it.

I am homesick. I’m ready to see the world again. I haven’t gotten my COVID vaccination yet. I think I’m getting it soon, but haven’t heard anything about it lately.


Thanks for being here. Thanks for reading this. Thanks for inspiring me. Whatever you do, thanks.

Vacation Mode: Activated

Good day to you, the lovely human who’s reading this. I hope that you’re well and good. As of right now, I am in a short vacation mode. The husband and I crossed the border into South Australia, and we’re spending a few days before I have to go back and do the work thing again.

I realise how much I miss living close to the ocean. The fresh air and the breeze are lovely. It makes me want to move back to a place where I have effortless access to the beaches, but who knows when that’s going to happen.

Tomorrow, we’re driving north to Adelaide, and I will try to pick up a new shiny mouse from Apple. I might as well, right?

I haven’t done much photography while I am here because I was too tired of being awake all night and driving. I’m up early to do more stuff, but my husband’s asleep, and I know if I let him, he’ll sleep until 4 pm and wonder why we didn’t do anything today.

I’ll try to post more today or tomorrow. Catch you guys later.

New: Telegram Announcements

I’m a big fan of Telegram. I’ve been using it for years, but have been having “problems” getting people to use it.


Since many people in my contact list have moved to it from WhatsApp, I thought I’d get off my rump and integrate it with my blog. If you use Telegram and want to see updates on this weblog (or any other random crap I post), you can go to the announcement account.

When I post here, you can see it show up in Telegram. It’s the same as what has been happening in Twitter for the longest time.

From Free-Thinker to Judgemental Zealot

Isn’t it absolutely wonderful when one of the coolest, most interesting people you knew from your childhood has turned into one of the most uninteresting, predictable, judgemental humans you could have ever met?

A little background: this girl was what I would consider as a goth girl. She was fun to be around, generally a really nice, lovely person. In high school, a little negative, but she was generally one of those who didn’t care what anybody thought. She was uniquely individual. I knew her since we were 5 years old. Seriously, that’s no lie. I considered her to be my friend.

I have discussed this person in the past before. She’s one of the people who only message me (and I think it’s just a copy and paste message to everybody on her friends list) when she needs something. I think one time it was a request to contribute to her GoFundMe for $500 so her son could have a birthday party.

I think at some point someone ultra-religious has helped her see the light because well, she’s become incredibly predictable to the point where I have all her notifications muted. A few times, she’s posted how same-sex marriages aren’t “valid” and how two people of the same sex loving each other is terrible.

I’m still in awe because this is a huge change from then to now. I’m all happy that she’s found religion (though it looks like it’s one of the crazy Southern Baptist nightmare sects). I just don’t know how she can be happy knowing that she’s agitated many people who considered her friend. It’s quite sad. I used to look forward to seeing her when I’d fly back to the USA, but not so much now. I’ve lived my life being judged because I was a skinny white guy who only liked playing soccer who was interested in guys. I really thought that she was one of those people who would have my back in anything, anytime. Little did I know how powerful religious brainwashing is.

I am guessing that’s what makes me so sad about it. Even after visiting the USA for a few weeks, I see how powerful religion is and in my opinion, it shouldn’t be. Australia, in comparison, is so much better in that regard.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-religion. I’ve been shaped from it, especially when it comes to family values (which include not being an asshole to family members with differing opinions). At the same time, I am wise enough to know that there are good things to believe in every religion. I firmly believe that people should have something to believe in, even if it’s nothing at all. Who am I to judge?

But… is that what I’m doing when I say my friend’s become so predictable?

I just want to be treated nicely. That’s all. It’s an unfortunate day when words can change someone’s whole outlook in life and negatively affect others along the way.

Chaotic American Mess

A real, American president doesn’t do and say the things he’s said.

Remove him from office. Throw him in prison. Do whatever it takes to restore some sort of integrity to the USA while it can. The “silencing” is a good first step. Of course, there is always Parler where all the classiest racists go to congregate.

Hopefully, God-willing, some form of healing can start in a week and a half.

Americans: also wear a damned mask and stop being a selfish cunt about it. I’d really like to go back home sometime this decade.

I’m outta here. Taking a break from work. I need it. Gonna try to record on one of my trips.

This is about as political as I’m going to get right now. Social media right now is a nightmare to navigate. Oh, and spell check isn’t working on this thing. Go figure.

Another Year, More Unfulfilled Promises

Good day to you. I hope you’re well and healthy.

So, another year is here and another opportunity to tell you about all the awesome, empty promises I’m going to make to myself.

Hey, let’s skip it this year, eh? I mean, anything is pretty much better than what 2020 brought to us, right? I’m sure you’ve seen an incredible amount of new year memes already. I’ll spare you that too.

I’m always happy to improve. If I don’t though, no big deal. As long as I don’t fall into any old bad habits (or new ones for that matter too), it’s all good.

Yearly, I like to re-evaluate how much of my time’s being wasted. As much as I hate to admit some things, I am seeing another end of an era coming.

My podcast was resurrected from the darkest, deepest pit a few years ago and as time has passed, I feel like I can compare it to stale bread. That stale bread is starting to mold a bit. With COVID running crazy and a new mutation, I can’t get out and do things. I can’t travel. I can barely escape my life outside working and coming home. My husband and I have made it a horrible habit to sit in different rooms doing our own thing. I sit here and code. He watches movies. Nothing exciting is happening. Planning for the future is hard. I simply don’t have enough to say or think about. Things are boring. I won’t sugarcoat that because it’s 100% true.

What does that mean? I’m going to be thinking about my podcasting plans. I don’t feel like it’s worth the time, energy, or hosting space right now. I’m going to keep my existing plans, but will scale them down a bit.

Work is continuing on my website though because it’s where I keep my coding skills fresh. I’m not sure if you know, but writing code is my side job. Since I am working in my primary job, it’s been brushed to the backburner, but I still need to keep up-to-date with what’s happening. I’m actually typing this as my “break” from working on my website.

I don’t want to make promises that I will not fulfill this year. I’ve announced plenty of things that I haven’t finished or keep pushing back. I’ll still mention what is coming, but don’t want to put dates on anything.

One of the things people should do is make achievable goals. (They’re called SMART goals, eh?) Can I do that? Nah. I doubt it.

A Means of Caffeinated Support

First and foremost: I’m not begging. I am just merely informing. Whether you do any of these or none of all, that’s totally up to you. There are several ways to help support my projects but the one I “push” mostly is the option to support me with coffee.

For Christmas this year, I bought us a Nespresso VertuoPlus coffee machine. They’ve got these funny-looking capsules that are easy to use and a bit convenient, so the “buy me a coffee” option will be used for the coffee machine.

The coffee capsules I like are about AUD$1 each. The service I use doesn’t really let me take amounts of $1, so your $3 will get me about 3 of them. That’s like a day supply for me and my lovely husband.

If I feel like I’ve had enough caffeine, the rest of any support is used to make improvements to my projects. That can mean buying or updating/upgrading hardware and software, paying the hosting bill, or for other services.

You can use the Buy Me a Coffee support option by using the button below. If you do, please let me know and I’ll hook you up with some extra stuff. (I also have to asterisk that and say that an account here is required for those extras.)